Wednesday, July 27, 2011

On Heirlooms

I'm getting married in 2 months. I am so over talking about the wedding - no one wants to hear that shit, and I super-duper don't want to talk about it. It's tedious! But one thing I have learned in the wedding process is how huge a scam the wedding industry is. Oh, you want that for your wedding? Let me just add a zero to the price.


One thing that I've been encountering a lot of is the blatant abuse of the word "heirloom". I've been seeing a lot of "heirloom quality" and "future heirloom" bandied about, and it's pretty bullshit. The QUALITY of an item does not make it an heirloom, and I'm not even going to get started on the shoddy quality of the mass-produced items in question. Most of the keepsakes that my family holds on to are handmade, and not necessarily of any superior quality. In fact, many are falling apart. They are just nice things that I like. There is no specific sentiment behind them, and if there was, that sentiment belonged to SOMEONE ELSE.

As for "future heirloom" - well, I can't control what future generations are going to find precious and sweet. I've had to deal with a lot of my family's crap over the years, and I'm not holding on to things just because so-and-so loved it. My Aunt Virginia collected little porcelain bunny rabbits (her last name was Hare) - I have ZERO interest in little porcelain bunny rabbits, so I didn't take them. I don't want to impose what I find lovely and sentimental on anyone else. "Future Heirloom" - let's talk about that lovely macrame wall-hanging that your mother made in 1972 - I bet she thought THAT was a "future heirloom"! And guess what, I picked it up at a yard sale for 5 cents. One man's treasure and all that.

You can't impose an "heirloom" on anybody, nor should you be purchasing things for their potential heirloom-ability. It's the wedding equivalent of purchasing "Collector's Edition!" items. Which is bullshit.


  1. so...i gather the wedding industry is bullshit? i agree!

    but your dress will be a treasure!

  2. is your dress heirloom quality? heh.

  3. Ha ha! Gale WINS.

    I've never had to work fully IN the wedding industry although a few of my jobs in the past have had varying degrees of peripheral wedding industry involvement. Just enough to know that it is, indeed, bullshit.

    I think it would be awesome and hilarious to recycle your wedding dress into something mundane, like shopping totes. Actually, I should totally offer that as a service. Don't steal my idea! I'm going into business!

  4. i was so sick of talking about my wedding and being annoyed by all the stuff everyone told me i "had" to have for my wedding by the time i actually got hitched! i will admit, the wedding itself was a super fun day, but i was so happy when it was all over and people stopped asking me what my colors were and freaking out about stuff i didn't care about. i hope you don't get hassled too much more, and that you have your own, awesome wedding day!

  5. The only things I really want the word heirloom connected to are my tomatoes.

  6. How IS the dress? Please don't cut it up into recycled bags.

    fyi... I made my own wedding dress and it was purely hideous. At the last minute, I wore my mother's dress which SHE had made herself... and that was good. very good. Still married after 28 years. God I'm old.